My experience with therapy
My experience with therapy has been different at different times. Having had the pandemic take a toll on my mental health, I was happy that my company offered me counseling service. It was just what I needed.
The first session with Pragya, my therapist, started off heavy, to my surprise! She only asked me a handful of questions, but these questions were just what I needed. They helped me to question and open up about my situation in life. Day one, and I was bawling. I never realized how misunderstood and alone I felt coming back to Nepal after being abroad, how much I missed my friends and companionship. She needed to ask me these questions because I do not think I would have ever faced these feelings and tried to heal from them otherwise.
I have had different phases of thoughts about therapy throughout my life. Initially, I thought the stigma of even being associated with it was not worth it. Soon, I learned, and I slowly started to welcome therapy as a means to heal myself. I am still not there yet, but every day with the help of such communities and professional understanding, I seem to be getting closer.
I really enjoyed my therapist’s way of communicating. She always asked the right questions, one of which was, “What is your need?” This question in itself brought in so many reflective views that I had otherwise tried to ignore. With that, sometimes for brief moments, and sometimes for long periods, I would find tools to help myself become better. Each session with my therapist taught me something about myself. As someone who has had therapy before, the way my sessions progressed surprised me too. I was open and vulnerable and thus got something valuable out of every session.
In my first session, I learned about my resentment towards my loved ones. I am still healing from that one.
In the second, I learned that I do not really trust myself. I am still working on that.
In my third, I learned that sometimes I get inside my head, to a point where I don’t do anything.
All this while, when I felt these emotions, my therapist heard me, validated these emotions, and helped me cope. And while I still have a long way to go, I believe that these realizations have helped me become better and adjust to the COVID life, the new life, the changes, my triggers.
Every person has a different journey with therapy. But while at times troubling, this journey has proved to be fruitful for me.